Finding Your True Self in the Unknown

In the past two weeks I’ve attended four challenges, one corporate-related and the others for business-building.

If you’re not familiar with challenges, which seem to be the latest rage to business and financial growth, these are designed to get people moving into the business they desire (personal development also uses these). The format involves some type of teaching, either by the host or other experts, and then assigning homework of field assignment to stretch participants. Usually, prizes are awarded for participation and it can lead to an offer of some type.

One pervasive topic I found in all of these is mindset and what leads one to holding their vision big enough, to not move forward on them, and to blame themselves or others for that delay. Through all challenges, I’ve taken assessments and learned my blindspots, my sign, my gremlins, and how to move and flex between my shadows.

By now, I know myself very well, which is ironic in this is the work I also do. We all can learn more about ourselves so we can step outside, retell the story, and find our true self – both positively and negatively (yes, we all have them) – so we can take advantage of them.

From looking at the comments from participants, many are unaware of their true selves, and I know they are not alone. Self-awareness and introspection is the key to living a fulfilled life – it allows you to use more of your strengths and skills; it helps you to see those blockages to move past them; and it leads to overall happiness.

You’ve probably heard the saying by Roy T. Bennet, “You never change your life until you step out of your comfort zone; change begins at the end of your comfort zone.”

It’s true that during the times you step outside your element, you experience who you really are. It’s about facing our fears and doing things we are passionate about.

We often live our lives with the “I cannot,” “I don’t want to,” or “it’s too difficult” thoughts that keep us stuck and unhappy. It’s only until we realize that when we stop letting our negative thoughts control us, that we find our true self.

Stepping into the unknown is frightening, the place just beyond where we can see the outcome of doing it. That’s the part that makes our hearts pump faster, make us break out into a cold sweat and yet, we yearn to see what’s there. Our brain is always telling us to ‘be safe.’

Staying in our comfort zone keeps us from stepping into that unknown. It keeps us secure and safe. Your comfort zone is the basis of your life now. It’s how you define who and what you currently are. It’s the stories you tell yourself over the years.

But what would happen if you stretched outside that zone? Would bad things happen? Or would you suddenly be excited about life?

How do you know if you should step into the unknown? Begin by writing down 10 things that doesn’t scare you and you do often. This could be things like traveling by bus, giving a public speech, or whatever it is that doesn’t scare you. It’ll be different for each person, because we all have different comfort zones.

Describe how it feels to live within your comfort zone. Be as detailed as possible using feeling words. How does it make you feel to be in your body, your mind, and your life?

Then ask yourself these questions:

  1. Are there things you want to achieve but haven’t yet?
  2. Are you dissatisfied with your daily life?
  3. Do you want to achieve big things?
  4. Do your goals and passions keep appearing, tugging at you?
  5. Are there material or immaterial things you want that you don’t have?
  6. Are you struggling with finding meaning in your life?
  7. Are you feeling jealous of others who have achieved or done things you secretly want?

Once you’ve answered these questions, think about what’s keeping you from going after what you want. What makes you uncomfortable? Is it fear? Are you reluctant to take chances or make changes?

Write Down 10 Things That Scare You.

Now describe how it would feel if you were living outside your comfort zone. Be as detailed as possible. Describe in detail how it feels, what you see, hear or where you are.  Use images, color, or visualization to help you create your life.

Take your time with these steps. Once you realize what’s keeping you from stepping into the unknown you can begin taking small steps outside your comfort zone to get there.

Your life can be as fulfilled and exciting as you desire it to be once you step into the unknown where you find your true self. 

IF you’d like to explore your blocks that may keep you stuck , let’s start a conversation to assess your needs – reach out today to get started.

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