Patience is often the most confusing of virtues. For one thing, many people don’t realize that patience is learned! It doesn’t come naturally for most of us. And we can be tested during turbulent times, such as now. We live in a fast and instant gratification society; having more patience will help us slow down which helps lessen any anxiety or angry feelings. We will live more in the moment, of which long-lasting benefits include thinking clearly, happiness, and better physical and emotional health.
Here are three areas in which patience really does pay:
1. Goal setting. You’ve heard the saying that anything good is worth waiting for. This doesn’t mean simply sitting and doing nothing, waiting for great things to happen to you. You have to make them happen! When you sit down and write out your goals, give yourself a realistic time frame. Remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day. Set mini-goals within larger goals so you can get a better visual of your progress. You’ll feel motivated by your accomplishments when you see your plan developing.
2. Learning new skills. As we get older, it’s not as easy to learn new skills. We can become discouraged and feel like giving up. People who have been out of the work force for many years may be completely out of the technology loop, and it can be challenging to get up to speed with new systems and processes.
Having a broken bone is one of the best lessons in patience. Not that I’m suggesting you do anything dangerous but, in this case, patience is born out of necessity. You learn how to do everyday tasks in a different way in order to stay mobile. Taking up a sport, such as karate or yoga, may feel awkward at first but, with practice, suddenly you feel like a pro. I didn’t get tasks or writing down after I hurt my right wrist but, with time and self-kindness, I was using my left hand easily; I found eating to be an enjoyable task that I still use months later (not to mention strengthening my brain through neuroplasticity).
3. Tolerance. Sometimes patience can mean enduring or persevering in a difficult situation. We’ve all had issues with bad drivers or demanding bosses – even technology issues can make our blood pressure go up. But we can use these as opportunities to grow our patience. Instead of screaming at your kids when they’re not ready for school, or a coworker who was late on giving data for a project, think of all the times they’ve had to wait on you. Impatience can make people lose their temper and say something they really don’t mean.
It really goes to one’s expectations – if mine is that you will be on time for our meeting and you aren’t, you have let my expectation down and lead to feelings of frustration or anger (especially if it’s happened more than once). Tolerations refer to activities or situations that we don’t agree with but allow, so it’s important to know your boundaries and when enough is enough, as well as any consequences that will result.
By contrast, patience promotes peace. In this age of instant gratification, it is increasingly difficult to accept what is out of our power. Learning patience is truly an art. But it is an art worth learning for your own health, happiness, and healing.
A man who is a master of patience is master of everything else” (George Savile)